Wednesday, October 12, 2005

WARNING: Men may not want to read the first part of this post :)

Arrrrgh, Aunt Flo is back with a vengeance! I can't sleep any darn longer or I'll soak through another outfit. For the past several hours, I've had to change my coverage every hour if not sooner. Boy, nothing beats the feeling that I'm peeing in my pants and it's not coming from that hole (there's the TMI for you!) My tummy wants to explode and now I'm feeling quite woozy...most likely due to the blood loss. Time for more bananas :) Blah, I hate dealing with this! These birth control pills just aren't doing the trick with my cycle. My hormones must be seriously out of whack or this is just a bad side effect from medication...but man, I'm sick of compounded problems!

Good news front: I get a visitor this weekend (of the male species!) I was invited to go up to his place last weekend but couldn't due to car issues and other plans (that didn't end up happening and I'm still very pissed about.) We've been chatting by phone and the net, but he hasn't seen me in person for about six years! Yikes! I am doing my best not to freak out about what will happen. I'm not worried about my size since the scale says I'm smaller than when we were together...I'm just curious about his intentions. After the first day of chatting again, we have teased each other about some "not just friendslike" subjects (and I need to thank the wise Aussie dude I'll never meet for getting me to open up about that stuff and enduring some nicknames!) I've picked up some vibes that lead me to think that maybe he "like-likes me" (Ha! How middle school!) again. But, he isn't blatantly obvious about it...

How do I feel about this possibility? If you asked me at beginning of August, I'd have said, "Are you nuts? I won't be ready for years!" And with a guy who has already rode the Gigglepuss Coaster? Sounds like a horrible idea, right? Well, what can I say? He's dethawing my frozen heart. He makes me laugh so much and never makes me feel like a shit. In fact, he was always a good guy...I really took him for granted back then. So, I'm really anxious about what might happen...nervous about bringing up how I'm starting to really feel....worried that I'm misreading his signals.... OOOOOOHHHH, I'M SO SCREWED!!