Wednesday, March 30, 2005
Slut--It Looks Good On You :)

Today's crazy title is brought to you by the Advertising Slogan Generator. Today, I was feeling adventurous and put on this shirt that has this completely crazy neckline. I had bought it on sale a few months ago not noticing that the opening was so huge!! I must be losing somewhere on top, because today I had to keep fighting with it so it wouldn't slide off my shoulder :) Plus, whenever I bent down, anyone nearby would get quite an eyeful of cleavage if I wasn't careful. Totally not my type of shirt, ya know? This shirt is now known as the "Slut Shirt". After dealing with it during classes, I finally got over my paranoia and felt a bit sassy wearing it. But, I figured this top just may not be work appropriate. So, I got the idea to tie these odd strings (used for when it's on a hanger) around my bra straps. Bankers just can't get away with too much flash, even if I'm dealing with customers on the phone! No, it wasn't my smartest move ever, but people really liked the shirt! Maybe I'll have to be a bit more daring the next time I purchase more the compliments, people!!

Today, I didn't make the wisest food choice for lunch. I didn't pack one today, so I headed over to a place that was advertising grilled chicken sounds ok, right?? Well, it came with refried beans, rice, cheese, and some other various toppings. Well, I looked it up when I got home, and the meal was worth 830 calories and 25 grams of fat! Egads!! I didn't eat most of the side stuff, so I don't know how much I saved myself. Even with that catastrophy, I ended up being ok pointwise with 29.

I also spent 90 minutes at the gym this evening...15 minutes on the elliptical and 75 minutes on the treadmill. Normally, I do not spend so much time on the treadmill, but the weights area was packed!! As I've said before, I'm working on preparing for a walking marathon, plus the MS Walk in 2 weeks and the March of Dimes WalkAmerica at the end of the month. Well, I've found something interesting about my body. It wants to run! It shocked me Monday, so today I decided to deliberately put the pace to a good running speed...I ran a good 15 minutes straight, and then decided to set it back to reality setting because I just wasn't wearing the right shoes and I could feel a blister setting in. So damn, I really am getting fit! Who knew? I haven't ran so much since my days of soccer as a forward and halfback. Maybe this running thing isn't so scary as my head makes it out to be!

My next weigh-in at WW is tomorrow, and I think it's going to be a good one. I'm so glad I decided to go back. As Kristi said in her most recent post, having to go in and have someone weigh you really does keep you accountable!

Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Challenge Time!!!

I planned on writing this post much earlier today, but with my increase in water consumption combined with the rain starting to hit, I've had to pause way too often in order to hit the bathroom!! At least my bathroom is functioning again :)

So, in order to help me keep focused on staying on track, I've developed a little challenge for myself plus joined another challenge. As I've mentioned before, I'm meeting up with a crazy bunch of people from Ediets over Memorial Day weekend. (Oh yeah, I guess I'm spending a bit of time with Paul then too, but that's secondary on my list for once!) I proudly introduce my "Rising Phoenix in NYC Challenge"! (Rising Phoenix is the name of our team and I'm new to editing images so I apologize for lack of beauty!)

My main goals are to:
1. Lose 15 pounds
2. Exercise daily, and a minimum of 60 minutes 5 days a week.
3. 100 oz of water a day and limit to one soda a day
4. Journal my food daily (this may be the toughest part!) I won't bore you with my meals here, but I'm going to try to give daily subtotals points or caloriewise.
5. In bed by midnight four days a week (this is also going to be pretty darn tough!)

To go even deeper into the summer, I joined another blogger challenge. Gigglechick wants to lose 20 pounds by her 35th birthday June 21, and invited other bloggers to join in her challenge. In "The Great Blogger Fat Off", I vow to lose 26 pounds (hey, it may be lofty, but dang I'll work really hard!). There are now 80 people signed up for this event! We will be checking in every Friday, so I'll be posting there, plus updating somewhere on my sidebar.

I have an early morning tomorrow and I need to go to the bathroom again, so I'll post more details tomorrow!

Monday, March 28, 2005
I Hate Peeps!!

Yesterday, I felt a bit better than "Death Warmed Over", so I decided to celebrate Easter with my family. The hardest part of this task was getting ready to go over there! (If you want to avoid some ranting, skip over to the next paragraph.) First, I headed to the bathroom to take my bath. The bathtub was FILTHY!!! At some point on Saturday, my roommate Erin decided to be nice and give the dogs a bath before Sarah gets home today. So there is dirt and hair ALL OVER the place!! If you're going to be nice, please clean up after yourself!!! So I spend a bit of time cleaning the bathtub and notice the drain isn't working (most likely due to all the dang dog hair!!) and the plug won't stay up either. I should have noticed how she had it propped open with a disposable shaver cap. Grrrrr!!!!! Well after fiddling with that for a good 45 minutes, I gave up trying to fix it. And of course, SHE is downstairs taking a shower in "her" bathroom. Since I didn't want to be late, I grabbed all my bath accessories and drove to my parents house. Thank goodness most of them were finished with their shower so I could hop right in. *End of rant!*

My parents gave me a cute Easter basket filled with Peeps, an egg filled with peanut butter eggs (my favorite Easter treat), and a bubble gum egg. I just do not like Peeps at all...they are just marshmallow and sugar...what's not to love?...but I hate the taste for some reason. So, those things definitely won't be tempting me. I ended up leaving my basket at my parents house...that way the only time I can be tempted by peanut butter is when I go over to visit :) After we all got ready, we left to go to my grandma's house for lunch with her and my uncle, aunts, and cousins. I did not go up for seconds at all because I was full after one plate of food. Woohoo!!

Now, most times I go to family events, I feel a bit of marriage pressure due to questions from my aunt and seeing the two other female cousins closest in age (yet still younger!) either married or just recently engaged. I was validated for waiting to take the leap this time!! My cousin Carmon has been married for about four years now, has a new house, a great job, and really has straightened up from her past of running away and fooling around with numerous guys. It's about time since she is 25!! Well, I always thought things were fishy since she rarely ever brings her husband along to any family functions. Yesterday, she was not wearing her wedding ring, her brother let it slip how she was living in an apartment, and she had to rush to meet this other guy and his parents. Ha!! I guess she just wasn't ready to settle down yet. Now, she didn't say anything about getting a divorce, but something is definitely wrong with this picture! I'm not saying that getting married young is wrong....but you really need to make sure you're with the right person. Do I think I've found the right person? Hmmmm, let me get back to you on that. I've been doing a lot of thinking about this lately, and I'm not as sure as I used to be.

Hope you all had a great holiday or extended break (if you were lucky enough to get at least a day off work)!!

Saturday, March 26, 2005
My Bed is Making My Ass Expand

Where has the day gone? I have spent practically the whole day in bed, most of the time sleeping. I am just lacking the energy to even go to the kitchen and eat. Thank goodness I have some Special K breakfast bars in my room, although I really don't feel hungry either. I'm sure Erin is wondering what the hell is up with me since she has been home ALL day for once.

After spending a day mad at my body for getting sick, I'm glad that I did stay home. My stomach is queasy, my sinuses make me feel like grapes are permanently implanted up my nose, and I have a bit of a headache. I just don't think Paul would enjoy me being around in this condition. Having to wait less than another month to see him isn't so bad, right? (Yes Jodi, keep repeating this to yourself and you'll feel better about the situation...)

What have I accomplished during my short time actually awake? Reading new blogs! I'm going to have a blogroll the size of Texas if I don't quit it! I've had a couple new readers comment yesterday/today, so I had to check them out. Hi Brenda (Firebrand) and Queen!! Brenda is a fellow clarinet player and lives in a neighboring state. Queen has lost over 100 pounds in less than a year, an actress, and I was so enthralled by her story that I ended up reading all of her entries! I know, I'm a bit sad.

So, tomorrow is Easter for me. It sounds like we'll be heading up to my grandma's again for the celebration. I think this is our first major holiday without grandpa. My mom has been pretty good about going up to see her once a week. My grandma has started to hear grandpa talking to her at night and has sworn she's seen him come into her bedroom a couple times recently. I don't know about the whole ghost thing, but if it's giving her comfort, it can't be so bad. We'll see if there will be an appearance tomorrow :)

Friday, March 25, 2005
Friggin' Sickness!!

Well, I'm staying home this weekend :( And this time, it isn't Paul's fault! For this past week, I've been feeling a little crappy especially in the morning...probably why I overslept the other day. My mom and aunt even noticed my face looking a bit rashy on Wednesday. Well, last night, it turned into a full-fledged puke fest. And today, I don't feel much better. Why am I cursed?? I'm just hoping it's not a stress-related shingles outbreak. I think my face looks OK now, but my stomach is still feeling pretty queasy. I don't see any rashes or bumps anywhere else either, so it must be just some kind of bug. My sister had the shingles this year, and right when she felt ready to go back to school, they came back to visit again!

So anyways, Paul and I talked about just changing my leave until Saturday, but then I would only have a full day there...and the two other days would be partial travel days...just not a good plan!! He was understandably upset about the sudden change, too. We're changing the date till April 10th...a time where he actually has more time off and I have a few days off for some school related reason...Spring Break Part 2 or something. I'm so disappointed in my body for giving out. Maybe I should have just sucked it up and went anyways, but then what fun would I have been?

There's my update for all of you who were anxiously waiting for it. I know it's not the good kind of update, but I hope I'll have a better travel update in April now.

Thursday, March 24, 2005
WW Rocks :)

Well, I did it! I finally went back to a WW meeting after a month absence...I had to register all over again. And holy shizznit, there is a whole crapload of new items available to purchase...I felt a bit like I was walking into a grocery store :) I weighed in, and amazingly enough, the WW scale agreed with my scale at home.

I believe I'm actually going to stick with going to the meetings at this time. Here's why.
  1. The leader's name is Jodi!!
  2. She is much closer in age to me and easy to identify with.
  3. Her birthday is only 4 days after mine (she just turned the big 30)
  4. It is her 4th anniversary with WW and her beginning weight is right about where I am now.
  5. I've never laughed so hard at a meeting in my life!
I have so much left to do before tomorrow, and I'm falling asleep while typing, so this may be my shortest entry ever. If I don't a chance to be online while I'm gone, I'll fill you all in on the details when I get back on Tuesday :)

One More Day...Fa La La La

It's OFFICIAL! One more day until I'm out of this state for a few days!! Yep, I'm heading up to NYC to spend some time with the Paulster :) And what's even sweeter? I'm not paying a bit for this trip! It has been....ehhhhh more than six months since we've been in the same time zone ever since the December fiasco. I'm not even going to talk about that disaster...I seriously had thoughts about kicking him to the curb after that because I was just sick of the distance and the missed opportunities.

On the health front: I've found the most comfortable running shoes ever!! Actually two pairs!! Couldn't decide which ones I liked better so I am getting both. I know I should be sticking with the financial budget I put together for myself in finance class...but ohhhhhhh sometimes I just have to make myself feel good too! Plus, having those shoes and my cute new gym clothes I bought with birthday money gives me added incentive to go to the gym and show them off. It's amazing what clothes can do for a person's mood. Paul is great at getting to the gym, so I'm not worried by going off-track while I'm gone. Plus, it's easy to get a lot of walking in when you rely on mass-transit. At least, that has been my experience.

Whoa, I bought gym clothes and new running shoes. On purpose. I can't believe it! My attitude certainly has changed from a year or so ago!

Finally, there is a MAN lying on the couch in the other room. I almost crapped in my pants when I opened the door and entered my dark living room. Now I can't run around in the nude tonight...shucks!! Now, I'm assuming he is HOT because he has a huge fan blowing on him. It is quite chilly outside right now, and the heat is running. From what I could tell, he was shirtless too. Anybody dare me to sneak out and poke him??

Wednesday, March 23, 2005
I Quit!!!

Woohoo!!!! Tonight was my last night at work until Tuesday!! No more fighting with underwriters and dealing with cranky customers for a week!! I even got to go home 30 minutes early. When I left, I told my coworkers "I quit....till Tuesday." I just have three classes to get through tomorrow and I'm officially free!! Easter/Spring break right now is just what I need :) I actually have plans for this full time. Since my sister is still reading this darn thing (I have no idea why!), I'm not going to divulge my plans till then...let me just say, it's ABOUT DAMN TIME.

I'm stealing the following from Kimba who stole it from Argy...

Accent: Midwestern. And I have a tendency to drag out my Os, but it is nowhere close to the accents in the movie Fargo

Bra size: 40C

Chore I hate: Shoveling snow

(step)Dad's name: David

Essential make-up: flavored lip gloss. Yep, I'm a bit lax when it comes to making up my face...the picture shows that pretty clearly :) When I have time to dicker around, blush and mascara come out!

Favorite perfume: I sneeze if I wear most perfume, so Love Spell from Victoria's Secret is my mainstay

Gold or Silver: Silver

Hometown: Sioux Falls

Interesting fact: My whole band came very close to being arrested in Tiananmen Square in 1999

Job title: Personal Banker

Kids: Sure, but I need a full-time man first. Well, technically I don't, but that's what I'd prefer!

Living arrangements: With my roommates Sarah and Erin and Sarah's two dogs Baylor and Belmont...someday soon will be with Paul in NYC

Mom's Birthplace: Humboldt

Number of apples eaten in last week: Two so far

Overnight hospital stays: Four...when I was born, when I had my tonsils and adenoids removed, when I broke my ankle, and once when diagnosed with asthma

Phobia: Deep water since I'm not the strongest swimmer, big snakes

Question you ask yourself a lot: "What the hell am I doing?"

Religious affiliation: Methodist although it's been a bit since I've stepped inside a church

Siblings: Three younger sisters: Danielle is 18, Amber just turned 17, and Brenna is 12

Time I wake up: about 6:30 or 6:45 Monday-Thursday and Saturday, about 8 on Fridays, and whenever I want on Sunday

Unnatural hair color: Currently blonde and reddish highlights...I've never had a complete color change

Vegetable I refuse to eat: Tomatoes! They have to be blended like in vegetable soup or in the form of ketchup for me to handle it!

Worst habit: Procrastination.

X-rays: Ankle, wrist, knee, spine, teeth

Yummy food I make: Ooh, this is tough since I don't cook very often. I do make a good spanish rice and chicken dish, scotcharoos, and Mountain Dew salad

Zodiac sign: Pisces

Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Walking a Marathon!

One of my worst traits is not being able to say no to requests. If someone wants me to do something, I'll try my hardest to accomplish it. Well, this time, not saying no is a good thing :)

I'm going to participate in a marathon!! One of the members of the Ediets LO read about the six month marathon training schedule in Prevention magazine and proposed that we get a group together and do it! So, in October, I'm planning on participating in the Marine Corps Marathon with them all. I don't know all the logistics yet, but I know that there is a limit to how many can participate and registration starts April 6th. The training schedule looks okay to me, so it will definitely keep me on course to accomplishing my own challenge to myself (which will start March 25th...look for details then!).

As a warmup to my own overall health and mental challenge, I plan on going to a WW meeting todayTHURSDAY. I ended up being a little too late for today :( I haven't went back for about a month again due to finances. A friend of mine from school started five weeks ago and tells me every Tuesday during Business Law class on how well she's doing. I'm wondering if she's hinting that I should start going or if she is just that excited about her success. Usually, our conversations don't regard fitness at all. She has no idea that I actually am a member. So, as long as my class gets out on time, I'll be driving over during my lunch break. Since I have been halfway on track again, I'm not really worried about the scale, although I know it's a few pounds above my last visit. Wish me luck!

Sunday, March 20, 2005
Picture Update!

Just a quick update! I am still working on my new challenge for myself...I'll have it figured out by tomorrow hopefully! I will share a picture for you now that will have to keep you satisfied till I post more! It doesn't show my highlights the best, but you get the idea :) I'll post some full-body pictures (oh the horror, I know!) with the challenge post.

You can see a small version in the sidebar, but here is the full size, without makeup on (pay no attention to the lovely shower curtain behind me)...

Also, I've found some great new sites to visit over the weekend! I haven't added them to the blogroll yet, but you should still check it out!

Thanks to Nicole, I found the Chubby Girl Brigade again! I stumbled across this spot before I started blogging, but had lost all my favorites. If you haven't checked it out yet, I highly recommend that you do. I think the attitudes shared there are great :)

Friday, March 18, 2005
Happy Birthday to Me!

Well, I'm 27 now and I don't feel a bit older yet!! My coworkers guessed that I was turning 23! LOL!! When I'm old, I'm sure I'll appreciate the young comments, but I'd love to be my age once. When I was in 5th grade, people mistakenly believed my sister was my daughter. It's odd how impressions change!

Since we're covered with over a foot of snow, we didn't go out for my birthday yet. Pretty much without fail, there is always snow on my birthday. It could be 70 degrees the next day (yes, it has happened!), but the snow gods love to smack us on my day! Good thing I'm not a cake fan because I didn't get one! My mom is going to make me an angel food cupcake tomorrow. If you've never had one, they are yummy and not bad for WW points either! I spent the night watching movies with the family...exciting, I know. I got a cool jacket that I've been eyeing for awhile and some Bath and Body Works stuff. I guess I'm getting more later...due to the weather changing, my family didn't really get out to buy anything. Yes, we all carry the procrastination gene :) I'm waiting for my gift from Paul...he says if I don't get up there over Spring Break that he'll send it. Just a week away now!!

And for an update from yesterday's post, I love my new hair cut!! I got to the salon early and found some cute ideas in a book. I think the color is the best part!! I took some pictures last night, but they just don't show the highlights the best. Everybody at work was commenting about my hair...either my hair was so bad before (well it was starting to look pretty shabby) or this one is just way better. I'll put up some pictures this weekend!

Finally, for a weight update, I'm down another pound :) I'm working on devising a challenge for myself for May and then for my next birthday. I'll share a bit more tomorrow!

Thursday, March 17, 2005
Dying My Hair Green :)

Happy Day Before My Birthday!!! Or as it is more commonly known, St. Patrick's Day. I'm wearing my bit of green although I have no Irish in me! Since I still have school and work tomorrow, I won't be partying too hard tonight.

Today, I'm finally getting my hair cut and colored! I haven't had a dye job since last summer and some nasty, stress-created white strands are popping up. Quelle Horrour! I always have trouble when I get a hair cut because I NEVER know what to do with it. I look at pictures beforehand, but I just can't make a decision on if it will actually look good. And then, when I tell the hair stylist to do something different, it usually ends up looking the same way it always does...dull and boring. Also, I'd love to donate some of my hair thickness to someone so I can style it and blowdry it without the urge to strangle myself. And I do NOT want the typical "chubby girl" style that I see all the time. I know all about the virtual hairstyle thing, but I'm not about to pay extra money just to give the haircut a test run. I want to start my birthday tomorrow (my 27th) on a high note by looking wonderful! Then, you'll get to see some pictures :) I'm picturing something in my head with more layers and flippiness...I know it's going to be tough, but I want what I want! Once I find the stylist who can make me love my hair and forget that it weighs 12 tons, I will build a shrine in her honor!

Also, does anybody have a good magic spell to make my period stop now?? Aunt Flo is jabbing me with her knitting needles and I've had to haul it to the bathroom every couple of hours to change my coverage! I do not need the embarrassment of an accident!! TMI, I know...but this royally sucks!!! My doc hasn't been very helpful in this area at all...I'm going to have to schedule an appointment yet again if this keeps up.

To end this post on a positive note, I'll share a bit of "Ireland for Dummies" :)


Strangely enough, Irish people tend to wear everything except green, which is associated with too many national tragedies, including 1798, the Famine and the current Irish soccer team. It's possible that green just doesn't suit the Irish skin colour, which is generally pale blue.

Irish Dancing

There are two main kinds of Irish dancing: (1) Riverdance , which is now simultaneously running in every major city except Ulan Bater and which some economists believe is responsible for the Irish economic boom; and (2),Real Irish dancing, in which men do not wear frilly blouses and you still may not express yourself, except in a written note to the adjudicators.

Woolly Jumpers

Ireland produces vast quantities of woolen knitwear and, under a US/Irish trade agreement, American visitors may not leave without a minimum of two sweaters, of which one at least must be predominantly green. Airline staff may check that you have the required documentation before you are allowed to disembark. Continental (that's Europe, not the airline) visitors are only required to have one woolly jumper, but must have a copy of "The Collected Works of Seamus Heaney" as well.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Hello Again

[[Ring, Ring]]
Me: "Hello!"
AF: "Hi, Jodi dear! It's Aunt Flo!"
Me: "What's up? I was wondering why you left so quickly last week!"
AF: "I know, I forgot to bring my knitting needles, so I ran back home. But, I'm coming back soon."
Me: [[cringing]]"How soon?"
AF: "Anytime now. In fact, you should probably be preparing the guest room again now."
Me: "Gosh, I'm a little busy this week, but I suppose you can come for a bit. Where are you now?"
[[Knock on the door]]

Yes, Aunt Flo is back with a vengeance! I knew her two day visit couldn't be the end of it. I just hope she doesn't decide on an extended visit!

In other news, to just add to the stress of Aunt Flo's crimson waves, my left rear tire decided to punk out today. No, it didn't just go decided to splat on the interstate!! All of a sudden, my car started shuddering and heating up inside...I was just about to the offramp to get to close I can taste I pull over once I get to a good spot. The tire was completely shredded, there was no spare in my trunk (where did it go??), and I didn't remember much from Girl Scouts on how to fix it anyways! Also, I had no tow truck # on my cell phone or AAA membership to rely on. So, I frantically call my sister calls my mom at work and then calls my stepdad at work. He came to my rescue! During the 45 minutes that I wait, only ONE person stops to see if I need any help. She stopped two minutes before my stepdad got there, so I told her thanks, but my help is coming :) She looked a bit relieved! I really need to learn more about doing my own car maintentance again...I just hate looking like the helpless damsel in distress (unless it gets me a smart, handsome man to help!)

Luckily, I get paid today so I'll be able to cover a tire, finally make my travel arrangements for spring break, the NYC trip in May (the hotel is already taken care of, at least), and hopefully find a business suit for my conference coming up. Does stress help my weight-loss efforts? We'll find out when I weigh in again this week :)

Sunday, March 13, 2005
Hello, My Name is Asslee

Nothing new to report, but a friend of mine from Ediets got me hooked on doing some darn quizzes this weekend! The results are a bit enlightening :) Especially my crayon color! My Aunt Flo did leave quite quickly this round (must have been scared off by my messy room...), and due to finally having some major homework finished, I finally got to relax a bit!

So anyways, here are my results!

Your Porn Star Name is: Asslee Bendover

You are

Expect a more meaningful entry later :)

Thursday, March 10, 2005
Putting On My Tech Hat :)

Hello World!

Well, howdy to you all if this post makes it on to my blog alive! Blogger has been burping and more most of the day...I think it has a bit of acid reflux. I try to post something or change the template and Blogger tells me, "Now you know I can't be eating these spicy posts or new changes! It upsets my tummy so :(" Yes, inanimate things speak to me sometimes and I often carry wonderful conversations with them. So, all I get from all my effort is some foul smelling burps in my face when I hit publish.

Since I had some spare time between classes today, I put on my geek/tech hat and made some minor changes. Yes, you can now comment on my individual post pages! And when you get lost in them, you can get back home. I also stuck my "Reasons Why to Lose the Cow" to the side bar so if you'd like to add some of your ideas in a few days/months/years, here's your chance :)

I am so glad that I don't have any more major assignments to procrastinate doing for at least another week. Last night, I got 2.5 lovely hours of sleep after researching and writing note cards for my speech I had to present this morning. I definitely did not look my best, and I am cringing about having to watch it on video later. Yes, my instructor decided to add to the humiliation factor for this one. Hopefully the camera won't magnify those lovely bags under my eyes. I don't have any more tests until after break (woohoo on the last tests for me with a 98 on Business Law on Tuesday and 93 in Personal Finance!) unless our accounting instructor decides to throw another one at us.

After school, I took a wonderful two hour nap (till an oboe lesson woke me up!), and I wouldn't mind sleeping a bit more. Fighting the almost 40 mph winds today really tuckered me out! If I was running the mile in the right direction, I bet my time would be almost cut in half with the wind factor! For my first Thursday off with my new schedule, I'll be missing my aerobics/sculpt class (the whole reason I changed my day off to begin with!), but sometimes sleep is just more important. I need to listen to my body a lot more about these things. I'm going to wrap this post up, eat supper, and then get to the comfort of my bed again :) Sounds like a perfect night to me!

Wednesday, March 09, 2005
Nasty-Ass Salad!!

Someone who commented recently here is flippin' psychic!! Girl from Florida, you are wise beyond your years. In honor of International Women's Day, my lovely time of the month/two weeks/skip a few visits/etc. decided to come visit. Even with the lovely pill, my Aunt Flo doesn't really pay attention to the calendar...her stay could be early/short/get the heck out before I kick you out...well you get the picture. I didn't even have the bloat. So, a bit of my mood may be contributed to that, but I'm still quite a bit out of sorts. I even got a bit snippy to a supervisor today...and if you knew how laid-back and quiet I can be in person, you'd be shocked! I just feel so overwhelmed right now and could really use a life preserver in these troubled waters right now. Would anybody like to volunteer to make some decisions for me??

So anyways, I was a good girl and picked up a salad in the cafeteria at school today. I will NEVER EVER do that again. It beckoned, "Take me, please! I'm nutritious and delicious!" Well, first of all , salads should never talk. Second of all, the dressing also ruined it. I took one bite and I thought I'd need to haul it to the ladies to expunge that taste from my mouth! Gosh, I wish my tastebuds could develop amnesia. So, I ate the carrots, and a bit of the lettuce, and a couple bites of the chicken on top (cold, slimy, and just gross). The Dr. Pepper did it's best to clear my palate. My stomach is just churning by thinking about that nasty-ass salad.

A lot of my favorites on my blogroll are starting to add a bit more pictures...I keep meaning to do that!! That will be my next chore after I finish preparing my speech. I totally blew it off over the weekend, so I'll be burning the midnight oil tomorrow so I don't look like an idiot on Thursday when I present it. If I can just make it through the next 1.5 weeks, I have a break from work and class to accomplish so many things!

Monday, March 07, 2005
Sleep is Good!

Last night, I did something that I haven't done in a LONG time. I went to bed by 10:30 PM! For once, it wasn't hard at all to wake up this morning. I definitely needed it after being all out of sorts for the past week. I was so off kilter yesterday that I wasn't even hungry all day and ended up with only 300 calories consumed. Before you start freaking out, my dinner/breakfast was at midnight Sunday due to having to bring my grandma home after my sister's play Saturday and not getting a chance to eat before it. So, those calories pretty much can be added to it...but it still makes it a pretty low day.

I hate to admit it, but when I get bogged down with life, I have a tendency to fall into a depression and forget to do the things I should. Thank goodness I'm realizing it for myself this time before someone else has to. I figured out that I set my alarm for Friday (but didn't turn the ringer on) which made me miss my first class. Missing class made me unaware that we had a test today (thank goodness, everything was about what I deal with in work daily!). I had to push myself to exercise, remind myself to eat, make an extreme effort to study, and force myself to go to bed. Things I let slide by: picking up after myself and showering. Yesterday, I avoided any contact with my roommates and ignored a few phone calls. This is just wrong...I'm seriously thinking about finally seeing someone about my situation because I'm so sick of the mood swings.

To try to break the depression pattern, I'm scheduling out every activity because knowing exactly what I need to do gives me a routine and something to focus on. I even am planning all my meals ahead of time. I am going to TRY to focus on one problem at a time...which means not stressing about the move until I have immediate needs taken care of...Paul is just going to have to chill about it. Hopefully, things will just work themselves out without driving me insane!

To end on a good note, for my official Monday weigh in, I'm actually down 3 pounds...I'll take any loss that I can get!

Sunday, March 06, 2005
Reasons Why...

It's 68 degrees and beautiful outside, but I'm in my room wasting the day away! I just have no energy after all the crap I've done this week...finishing a presentation that I didn't do much with until the last minute, studying furiously for accounting and business law, dealing with some personal crud, and working too much. I've been getting to bed so late that I overslept for my first class on Friday. Remember all the exercise I did last week? Well, it didn't happen so much this week. I did eat pretty well though and the scale is down another 1.5 pounds for the week.

So anyways, I've been catching up on reading my favorite blogs that I haven't had a chance to during the week. I was shocked to hear that one of my favorite writers, Beckie, is stopping her challenge. I guess I would stop too if the food fight was affecting my attitude. So far, my focus on food/health has made me happier overall and has helped me realize other goals too. I've been working on a list of reasons why to lose weight/exercise/eat healthy to push me to keep on doing it and not procrastinate.


  1. Exercise is much more comfortable when your thighs aren't creating friction and rashes.
  2. Larger clothing takes up too much room in my suitcase.
  3. No strange arm flappiness when I wave hello/goodbye.
  4. Not having to worry about springing a leak when I laugh too hard.
  5. Being able to see future grandchildren grow up and get married without any medical devices.
  6. No worrying about squeezing into a seat into the auditorium and taking up all the shared arm rest too.
  7. Being able to go to a restaurant and not having people check out exactly how much I eat.
  8. Being able to run a mile without onlookers debating whether they need to call 911.
  9. Cuter clothes! Ann Taylor size 8 here I come! --Jenniy
  10. I cannot wait for the day when I will no longer feel the need to wear pantyhose under everything to smooth out all the rolls and jiggles.--Kerri
  11. I look forward to running down a flight of stairs and not feeling my belly jiggle like a bowl full of jelly.--Renee
  12. I look forward to sitting in my car and not feeling the creases on the sides mashing together.--Renee
  13. Not having my thighs rub together, better yet, if I can achieve that sexy sexy space Windsor Pilates always talks about--Renee
  14. My gut no longer overlapping my jeans when I sit down--Still Renee :)

  15. Shopping for style & pleasure vs. practicality & pain--Renee (I love your extra reasons on your site that spawned so I'm copying!)
  16. Having so much muscle I can eat whatever (w/in reason), eat more calories (good ones of course) and know my metabolism is humming on high vs. being stuck on slow--Renee rocks!
  17. Wearing racerback tanks and capri yoga pants when shopping while looking totally fit--Renee is going strong!
  18. Running a race or two--I ditto on this!
  19. The looks on people who haven't seen me in a while--I'm definitely looking forward to that!
Because I am loving the increase in comments as of late (I will respond to all recent ones a bit later), I'm going to ask for some audience participation. What do you look forward to as a result of achieving weight loss/better eating habits/more exercise? As you add your responses, I'll add them on here. Let's see how long this list can grow!

Friday, March 04, 2005
Painting Me Happy?

A few months ago, my banking crew moved into a new area of the building. We were glad that all of us could finally sit somewhere near each other and not so close to the loud customer service team. Well, by moving, we lost our access to windows!! It was nice to be able to look outside and notice it was getting darker...aka about time to go home. By losing our sight of the outdoors, the days seemed to drag out forever.

Well, the upper management decided that our morale was dwindling. So, some "special" person thought of the idea to paint the walls to make us feel more cheery. I wonder how much they got paid to think of that one! So, now we have a blue wall, a red wall behind me, a green one will be to the side of me, a "mocha" colored one is coming, and the hallway blinds me with bright yellow. Plus, each pole is a different color as well. Might as well confuse us with a circus! I have reddish walls in my bedroom, and does it make me feel that much better about getting up in the AM? Not so much! We'll see if this change helps. If a darn game room that was put in when I started doesn't get used, I doubt color is going to do the trick.

So, I wonder if there is a color that would turn me off from eating and keep me turned on to exercising? I suppose if all junk food was the color of brown "poo", I wouldn't be so tempted to put it in my mouth. For exercising, I can't think of a color....maybe hot pink or lavender? Skittles make me happy so maybe it should be a rainbow of colors. I know my gym could use a new coat of paint just looks so dreary and a bit too filled with testosterone at times (especially the weights area!) I bet I'd stay longer if it looked more like a luxurious spa.

In other news, I have just been slapped with the reality that I'm supposed to be moving in about 2.5 months! Paul just sent me some info about financial institutions and schools in the area yet again. I just haven't got around to investigating anything...I've been too darn busy...or lazy...or something... I don't know, I guess it is really hard to wrap my brain around the idea that I'm getting out of the city that I've lived for all of my life! I'm not really attached to the city itself...I just am really used to knowing my way around. The most time I've spent in NY consecutively is about a week or two. When I head up there later this month, I better start figuring crap out....Paul better be giving me a good incentive to get my ducks in a row!

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I had to update some measurements and weights for Ediets since I haven't entered anything since November (except in the different area for the challenge I do) and they have these handy dandy charts showing my progress (and stalls and gains and whatnot) and it really had me thinking about dates.

First of all, it used to forecast the date for when I would reach goal. Not anymore! The scale and I have been so unpredictable since starting. I do remember that I was originally determined to hit my goal weight by May of this year. That is certainly not going to happen...if I'm lucky I'll be halfway there. I can't believe that I have been with the program for two years as of this coming April.

Second, my gall bladder surgery was 1.5 years ago!! I'm now at the same weight as I had dropped down to then. I had been blaming my weight gain since then due to being able to eat again for over a year!! My brain keeps telling me it was only last summer, but it wasn't. Holy shit, time flies and it's not a good thing.

Third, it does show my progress in my measurements. I've slimmed off 12 inches and I've dropped 8 points in BMI. Pretty soon, I'll no longer be categorized as obese and just fat :) What a great feeling.

I've just finished reading a few success stories, and I've decided that I WILL make it to goal by my birthday next year (which is a year and 17 days away, in case any of you want to buy presents for me early). I am committed to this goal wholeheartedly and I refuse to think about going the dreaded S route (surgery, which is great for many, but I just don't want to) unless I can say that I've done everything possible to do it myself. No more pussyfooting about accomplishing this girth anymore...Right now, I'm in the motivated mindset (again) and I just need to keep the momentum going.

And yes, the scale did show me a wonderful 4.5 pound loss yesterday. Thank goodness that my effort paid off!

Also, thanks for the great questions for my list. I've decided to screw that revision idea, but I have another list I'm formulating and will ask for some participation for that once I decide to post it!