Tuesday, September 28, 2004
I've Got Balls!!

Today was a great day!! I lost 1.6 pounds at my WW weigh-in...by next week, I could have 10 pounds gone...at least in 2 weeks, unless something like that TOM pops up. I must say, if I tracked my points more this week, I bet the loss could have been better. I've been doing mental calculations since I've been eating mostly the same things. I know I'm under in points, but for now, I'm ok with that.

Also, I took the leap and tried a aerobics/sculpting class at the gym tonight. Wow, I'm so glad I did! I haven't had such a kick in the ass workout since...gosh...too damn long to remember. We used hand weights, a huge stability ball, and did some other aerobic type things. I just got my Core Secrets pack in the mail last week, and getting used to the ball wasn't too bad! I will be trying out my videos tomorrow...I really liked the ball workout in class. I'm definitely going to do this class every Tuesday. I felt really good afterwards, and I'm proud to say that I mostly kept up with all the thin gals there!! Before I went to workout, I was starving, and when I left, I was just kind of hungry. I even got full before I finished my meal. That is just so awesome!!

In other news, it was damn chilly out this morning. The radio announcer said it was 37 degrees when I drove to school....32 with the wind chill. Windchill?!?!?! I do not want to hear that word in my forecast until late October or even later preferably!!! You know what is good about the cold?? The freaky cowboy tank-top wearing guy in psychology threw on a hooded sweatshirt. Thank God I don't need to see his pits again. He even had a baseball cap instead of a cowboy hat...I guess his cowboy hat must have been a little too aerodynamic in the wind! The only reason I would know it was him is because he still had on his shit-kicking boots.

Gosh, I'm really happy!! That is such a change!!

Sunday, September 26, 2004
I'm Back!!

As Bart Simpson would say, "Ay Carumba!!" I swore I made another post since my last WW weigh-in! Good news: I lost another 2.4 pounds which brings my grand total to 5.6 pounds!!! Woohoo!! Not bad at all for less than a month, and after months of maintaining the same darn weight!! So, I got my official 5 pound bookmark :) Now, there were two girls who just started last week who earned their bookmark too...I did not get discouraged because I'm assuming they were not doing anything healthy before joining and it's a bunch of water weight!!! Well, at least I feel better thinking that!!

Other good news at WW: the gal that I couldn't stand in middle school is going to start going to meetings in another town due to med school making it hard to get here. She didn't even stay for the meeting, so I couldn't see her reaction to my loss. Bummer!! My mom was supposed to come with me and join, but I come to pick her up and she "forgot". I guess she was busy cleaning for her big Pampered Chef open house that was yesterday and it slipped her mind. So, I have another two weeks for me to lose weight before she joins. She can't make it this Tuesday due to work....so now I doubt she'll be able to catch up with my weight loss :) Now, I know it's not a competition, but when I was in WW with her years ago, it always depressed me when she lost so much more. I can win by default!! I am thinking she has to lose about the same as I do...I'm not sure though because she's wears a size smaller than I do...but she's shorter....so it might equal out. I'm evil, aren't I!!

I celebrated my loss by going to the gym afterwards. Unfortunately, I have not made it back since then!! I've packed my gym clothes so I could go after work, but then I just didn't have the initiative to walk through the door. I am going to change that though starting tomorrow. I also plan on trying out the class that started right after I got there last Tuesday. They were using balls and weight bars and it looked like fun, even though all the gals there were already thin! After completing a mile on the elliptical in less than 10 minutes, I think I haven't lost a lot of my ability since having to leave my wonderful gym at the old apartment.

Last night, I had my first mini pig-out....well it really wasn't that bad. I had 2 small pieces of chicken supreme pizza, 2 buffalo wings, a breadstick, and then a small piece of pepperoni pizza a few hours later. It tasted soooo good....I have to get over wanting to eat something just because I want to see what it tastes like...I wasn't hungry for the pepperoni one, but gosh, it looked good. Arrrrgh!! I haven't noticed it showing up on the scale yet...probably because my stomach went crazy and I had to hit the bathroom 3 times last night...and it wasn't for #1!!! I know, TMI :)

What else...I'm going to my sister's play this afternoon. She has the lead role in this dinner theater production...she is getting such a diva ego. I know she's a great actress, but I guess I'm just tired of her getting an attitude. She's dropped a couple classes so she only has two real ones this semester and the rest are just music ensembles due to her play, car accident stress, and roommate troubles. She says classes are hard...they wouldn't be if she'd read the book and go to class! She'll figure it out eventually. I was doing great in college the first round until my junior year...I guess it's best to hit troubles at the beginning instead of later. Luckily, I'm doing awesome in school this round! All As, not too much homework, good teachers...I think I really made the right decision to try again, even if it's not in the medical field yet!!

I must finish getting ready, but I'm making a vow to post here at least 5 times this week. I'm not abandoning this!!

Friday, September 17, 2004
Would You Pleeeeaaaasssseeee Stop?!?!?

Well, I did it!! I joined a gym :) I found one that is soooo cheap and not crowded...I think it will be good. The guy who signed me up was soooo damn flirty...he probably acts that way to any woman so she'll join. We both were biology majors, he's only a few years older, he has this freaky spiky hairstyle, blah, blah...that's about what I learned about him. I had found out the prices before I went, but dang, I even got a better deal than what they told me!! I haven't used it yet, but I will tomorrow!!

In other news, that damn TOM has not left the building yet! No, not a guy named Tom, my Time of the Month!! It's been two weeks....I thought it had ended and the next day, there was a darn explosion in my pants!! TMI, I know....but my body is freaky!! I know, I really need to get that checked out, but I'm a darn wuss. I have went through the Pap and the vaginal ultrasound...ok at least attempted to get through it, and I just do not like probes stuck in there!! I'm praying that the exercise will make it stop...I was running like clockwork last year when I had a regular exercise routine. At least, TOM isn't causing me pain right now.

Also, I so need to go to the eye doctor. My supervisor was chatting with me and asked how I was feeling...I had a sinus cold about a week ago, so I thought it was a fair question. I told her I felt fine, and then she asked if I wore contacts or glasses. She said that my eyes looked foggy like when I'm sick and that I seemed to be squinting a bit... She was going to say something else but stopped herself...maybe her next question was going to be if I was on drugs...LOL!! I need a new prescription terribly...haven't went since my last pair of contacts died.

Oh, I'm so ready to lose weight!! I haven't decided my awards or mini goals yet, but damn I have the worst rash from belly fat rolls ever!! I soaked in the tub tonight so it wouldn't sting so bad and put some lotion on it....it feels a bit better! I can't wait till I lose a roll!! Don't think that I forgot the nasty prickly crap going on between the legs either....I can't wait till my thighs don't rub together so much!!

One last thought...when I lose 50 pounds, I'm dumping Pauly boy unless he visits me by then. I don't care if I'm alone....doing a long-distance relationship is pretty much like being alone. He's great and all...tells me how much he loves me, comforts me when I'm down, gives me all kind of support, and says all kinds of sweet shit....but I NEED ACTION!! I need kisses, caresses, hugs, massages, being able to look into his eyes while he's talking, holding hands, etc. If he can't get it together and give it to me, I have to move on. It'll be damn near impossible, but I will do it!!

Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Ranting and Raving

Damn, it is storming again....3 days in a row now!! What is up with that??? Is the hurricane causing weather patterns over here to get crazy too??? I hear the rain hitting the windows and it makes me want to head to the bathroom 4 million times today!! The booming thunder is keeping me awake....grrrr!!

So anyways, I've been sitting in class a lot today plus my WW meeting, and have discovered quite a few things that bug the hell out of me!!
  1. Damn cowboy hat boy in psychology class has converted to tank top boy! It is not 80 degrees out and you're not hot!! Please cover up those gangly arms!!
  2. Freakazoid guy playing games and music on his laptop without headphones!! I do not want to hear "Smack that Bitch Up" or other such nonsense!! Also, there is a mute button for a reason....we don't want to be subjected to your frivolous waste of time!
  3. Eating candy with noisy wrappers in class. An older gal in two of my classes today has been constantly eating!! I've seen a chocolate bar, a granola bar, another chocolate bar, and I forget what else go into her mouth today. First, she digs in her bag to find the food (there must be some endless stash) and makes a ton of noise rustling papers, then she proceeds to unwrap the candy...I don't know how she can make it so noisy!!! Then, she chomps away and I can hear her crunching...if I was closer, I could probably hear her digesting too!
  4. Gal in WW I went to confirmation making smalltalk with such disdain in her voice towards me and nasty looks after she does the nice act in the weigh-in line. I wouldn't mind i at all if she would just ignore me while I'm there!!
  5. Rain that doesn't stop!!!
  6. Family that just can't stop asking for monetary handouts!

I'm sure there are plenty more, but I'm too tired to come up with any!

On a good note, I lost 3.2 pounds this week!!! I was wearing heavy clothes and shoes too!! So, that pound from last week is gone! I am just about over cravings to eat outside my meals...I did have a little splurge tonight! When I was in the checkout counter at the store, I saw these Amazing M&M things...I had to see how it tasted!! But, I'm still in my calorie range, so neener, neener, neener!! I also made plans to check out a gym....hopefully I can go before class, if I ever can fall asleep tonight!! I'm going to get myself healthy, if it's the last thing I do, damnit!! This is a lifestyle change, not a diet, and it doesn't feel bad at all!!

Sunday, September 12, 2004
Good Mail Time!!

Why do developers have to change things that are working just fine??? Today at work, we had to start using a new program that is supposed to be so wonderful....all it did was take a hell of a lot of time to load and made me enter in a ton more than usual. What kind of progress is that??? I guess the WF tech dudes were bored one day and decided, "How can we fuck up the lives of bankers a little bit more?" "I know, Chip, lets design a program update and then make them use it before ANY bugs are worked out!!" (There has to be a computer guru named Chip out there...no offense to non-evil programmers named Chip!) By the time my shift was over, I had a fierce headache and was dying for some comfort food! Thank god I had some 100 Calorie Bag Oreo Crisps...those things aren't bad!! One bag helped me sooooo much!!

When I got home, I noticed that I had two letters....not bills, not a "Welcome to WW" postcard (luckily I got the mail that day so my roommates don't know my secret club yet...LOL!), but real mail!! The first one was a letter from a local radio station alerting me that I am a finalist to win a brand new Monte Carlo...I sure couldn't remember entering any crazy contest, but I'll sure as heck take the prize!! After talking to my parents, I found out that my stepdad entered all of us into a drawing awhile back...he has this thing about signing up for any darn contest with a box!! My next piece of mail contained free movie tickets!!! These tickets aren't for the cheap $2 matinee place that plays movies right before they hit video...they were for the fancy schmancy theater with the love seats and yummy popcorn and awesome sound!! Jackpot!! The card explained that it was a gift for referring my sister to my dentist. Damn, I'm going to get my whole family to switch to the hot as hell dentist if it gets me stuff like that!! Maybe I'll get a trip if I refer all the people I know :) Hawaii would be mighty nice right now...even NYC to meet up with Paul....hmmmmmm....

So anyways, I ate on plan today but didn't get a lot of exercise in other than walking. Tonight, we went to Applebee's...I tried the grilled chicken skillet from the WW menu this time (7 points!!)....it was good, but not as good as the fish thing...the tapica or whatever the heck it was the last time I went. After that, we split the berry lemon cheesecake dessert....ooohhhh that is sooooo yummy!! And only 1.25 points when you split it with 4 people!!! Tomorrow, I'm seriously going to burn some calories cleaning my room...I've been putting that off forever....and getting to know Leslie again with WATP. Next week, my Core Secrets is due to come and I'm going to get it on with that damn ball!!

Thursday, September 09, 2004
Excuses, Excuses

Man, where is the time going?? I haven't posted since Tuesday!! Tuesday was the big weigh-in day at the WW. Fuck it all, I gained a pound. Now, I'm not too upset about it because:
  1. I was relying too much on fast food...ok point wise, but not the best decision.
  2. I had on my sneakers and junk in my pocket.
  3. My TOM decided to pop back after being gone less than a week full force....water retention baby!!
  4. I didn't do the exercise like I should have!!

So, why didn't I exercise??? I was a fat lazy cow...too tired after work, studying, and surfing the net to get back to my regular routine. I thought that sticking to just sticking with points and eating right would cut it. My room is a mess and I didn't have the space. I can make up lots of excuses...I've done a lot with my life using this ability. But, if I want to accomplish my goals, I need to get rid of the excuses. So, starting today, I am making a schedule for myself...scheduling eating, studying, working, and exercise! After moving from my awesome apartment last year with the gym, I just cut the exercise...till it didn't exist. I loved the feel when I did it...I don't understand how I let myself quit. So, I WILL exercise everyday this week...even tonight, although I don't get home till 10. I WILL join a gym. I WILL keep tracking points and drinking water. I WILL see a loss on my next weigh-in. Don't let me go back on this promise to myself.

In other news, my friend Rita is trying to get me to move to NY so I can be with my long-distance guy Paul. Don't get me wrong, she has good intentions. She says there is NOTHING that is holding me back. Heck, she got both of us in a chat and telling us to pick a date of arrival...in OCTOBER!! I think that is pure insanity. She just doesn't listen to my obstacles...I would like to finish a semester of school instead of wasting money, Paul needs to find a new place to live on his own, I like my job for the most part, all my family is here. I think these points are valid! If money didn't matter, sure I'd split immediately. Another thing that bothers me....what if I move there and I just can't stand having so much of him. I like my time to myself!! Well, I guess that would prove that we shouldn't be together...we haven't really tested those waters yet. So, we'll see what I decide. I would really like to focus on me first before adding other things to the mix.

Tuesday, September 07, 2004
More from the unwitty (yet honest) fat ass :)

I am more witty in my head than I am when I speak. Hell, I'm even more witty in my head than when I write it down. I started this blog to document my weight loss and because I didn't have the knack/guts/whatnot to say what I was feeling out loud...but now, with these few posts completed, I don't think I've fully captured myself and I'm a bit bored of myself...LOL!! I mean Cowboy Dude has some reading appeal, but some others are just plain dry. This blog is primarily for me, so I don't know why I'm judging myself, but still!! When I start typing, I forget what the heck I wanted to blog about...by the time I open my laptop, my thoughts are gone. So, since I'm still not glued to the laptop and like my pen and paper, I'm going to remember to jot down what I really want to convey and then post it when I get a chance. Heck, I'm sure many do this already, but for me it's like, "EUREKA!! Why didn't I think of that before!"

So anyways, I'm scared shitless...I have my first WW weigh-in today...well technically second, but first since I joined last week. I have been counting points like crazy, but I don't know if the scale is going to show a change...earlier in the week I was showing down 2 pounds, a night or so ago, I was showing up again....and the damn TOM hasn't freaking left yet...spits out a day...stops a couple...and right when I'm ready to remove all protection, there it is again!! Some days, it is a struggle to get all my points in...I'm not sure what's better: go with what I feel like and don't care if I hit 30 pts or eat when I don't feel like it so I'm not messing up metabolism or the plan. I'm a horrible meal skipper due to time, and I have read that skipping can slow down your weight loss. So, my big goal for this week is to have breakfast, lunch, and dinner...even if I have to get up earlier for breakfast, or remember to pack a lunch the night before. I'm praying that the scale gods will be kind to me today...just to validate that I made the right decision to join WW instead of going by the Ediets plan (which I wasn't following very closely anymore) and I'm all for other people cheering the scale going down. I've already been working on my weight loss before joining, so I don't expect a huge loss like some do because of water loss, but any loss would be great!!

In other news, my dumbass 18 year old sister got in a car accident today...her third since driving. I guess she slammed into the backend of a Cadillac that stopped too fast...the cops said she was driving recklessly, and I totally believe that one!! She gets the newer car without taking driver's ed, never got the relentless pain from the parents, and she gets away with everything!! Yes, I am totally bitter. I'm glad my sister is fine and all....just some pain from the airbags going off and a broken cell phone. No, she wasn't talking on the cellphone, but it was sitting on the dashboard and flew into the windshield. I really hope she gets her license taken away to teach her a lesson...of course, she'll still get to drive because of that whole having to go to school thing.

In conclusion....I'm a bitter fat ass meal skipper who has never been in an accident, needs to be quicker about getting her thoughts down, and is praying for a loss tonight!!

Thursday, September 02, 2004
I'm Baaaaacckkk!!

Wow, I can't believe it is Thursday already!! I've been so busy with school, studying, and work that I forgot to post...that won't be happening again!!

Well, I did go to my first Weight Watchers meeting on Tuesday. I know there is a whole controversy about the change to the Core program, but I'm going to try the Flex program this week. I don't know if I'm ready to listen to hunger cues and stick to core foods....I think the Flex is more convenient with me having to grab food fast. After two days, I really like the program...it's a lot easier than counting calories and it's a little tough to eat all the points I'm allowed...Wednesday I was about 3 points shy....today I know I'll be a bit shy....but I bet that'll change over the weekend. I love their scale....it weighed me 4 pounds lighter than my scale at home....still not a happy number, but at least I haven't gained everything I've lost. 266.4....my high when I started was 285. We set my first goal as 10%, so about 27 pounds. I know I can do it.

The only thing I didn't like about WW is running into a gal that was in my confirmation class at church about ten years ago. She hated me then and shunned me because she didn't want to be around a fatty and she thought she was too cool for everybody!! Well, I guess in one way it's nice to know she now knows the trouble of weight. She looked just a bit chunkier than I remember her...she says she's lost about 15 pounds since starting. I was shocked she was the one to acknowledge me first!!! I guess people can change when they want to. She told me that she is in medical school....and I'm thinking....Fuck, that is my goal that I put off!! I had to tell her I was a banker...which is a good job....but not what I want to be for the rest of my life. Ooooh, I still hate her, but I'll be civil if she goes to that same meeting time again!

Today, I had my first test since going back to school...and I passed with flying colors. I was so worried that I'd start feeling sick like I did in my last semester of college 4 years ago. I had the worst test phobia or something going on...I barely made it out alive back then. I thought the test was pretty easy and I got an A!!! Woohoo!! I guess I didn't lose all my brains!! I don't know how well my accounting class went though....guess I'll find out on Tuesday.