I am SO glad I went to my WW meeting today. I was up one pound (better than up three as I was Tuesday). Jodi, our leader (not me talking in the first person), is so awesome! Today she talked about taxes and money as an analogy to weight loss. Also, she brought up procrastination (Yes, I'm good at this!) and how we might be procrastinating our weight loss as well. We make these goals for ourselves, and then we put off doing the things we need to in order to make it until the last minute.

Something she said that I had to write down (whoa, taking notes at WW meetings now?) was:

For a good return on your Weight Loss Investment, you need MODERATION, VARIETY, and BALANCE.

Right now, I need to work on my variety. I get in a rut of eating the same things, doing the same workouts, etc. and then I derail my progress by a lovely binge of something I haven't had in awhile or slacking on the exercise. I haven't hit the exercise rut yet, but I'm definitely at the food rut. My leader challenged me to try the Core plan for the week...it'll force myself to try more planning and cooking...plus filling myself with the right things, not just staying under points. She pumped me up so much that I bought a couple of cookbooks and am planning out a new shopping list that has a lot more items that don't include frozen meals. I haven't been watching my moderation as well as I could be either: using fast food for too many meals, guesstimating where I am pointwise instead of actually writing it down more than I should. So, I ordered the e-Tools on the WW website. I've been doing very well the past couple of days by entering in everything that comes into my mouth. I'll let you know how these changes go.

Also, I bought a few items using my tax return money. One is another pair of running shoes (ON SALE!!) and the other is Yourself! Fitness. I've been checking out Maya ever since before Christmas...looked for the computer version in Best Buy earlier in the year (they only had the XBox version and I was not going to purchase that too!), and didn't have my card whenever I thought about ordering it online. I took a chance and checked out the store again...it was there!! The most embarrassing part was actually paying for it. The cashier was a young teenage punk and he said, "Oh, this looks like a fun game! What does it do?" in that dang tone that annoys me. It had the undertones of "Geez, you're hopeless already...why do you even bother trying?" Well, I told him about it as sweetly as I could and got out of there as quickly as possible. I'll show him...I'll show everybody who doubts me! I've lost 45 pounds on my own and I'll continue till I get to my goal, damnit! It sucks to be so heavy that losing a nice bit of weight is only noticed by a few observant people. Well, I hope more will notice by the end of the summer...I just need to keep at it.

Whoa, sorry about that rant! I also preordered Tales from the Scale (with excerpts written by some of my favorite bloggers) and I'm Not the New Me written by Wendy. I've read an excerpt of her new book through a book review and I'm anxious to read more :)

Finally, another thing that we talked about at WW today was learning to love ourselves. And you know what? I do love me more than ever :) I'm happy about my fitness accomplishments, I love how my brain works, and I even go to the mall and other stores on my own now! Yes, I still have bouts of social anxiety, but I'm no longer feeling that everybody is staring at me and making judgements much. And if they are making judgements, it no longer bothers me. I don't need their acceptance or company!! They're just missing out on getting to know the wonderful girl known as Jodi! Too bad for them :)