Wow, I about shat when I saw my stats after work today. I'm part of Michele's scavenger hunt, and it took me a little bit to figure out what clue was mine!! I'm not giving out any hints, but I'd love to hear from those who stop by :)

I hope you enjoy your trip here, and gosh I'd love to see you come back again real soon without being prompted! I'm heading out to get plastered at a going-away party for some friends at work, so I'll have more to spill about tomorrow.

So, Dr. Phil is spewing a bit more advice about weight loss, and he's again right on the mark, darnit! In this article, he states that the #1 secret to losing weight is believing that you deserve it. I've always said that my success (or lack of it) has to do with where my head is at.

Believe me, I'd just like to reroute my wiring in my brain so I never think such negative thoughts. My faulty thinking hasn't helped me much...like when some guys I know notice a difference in my arse, I want to eat something sweet and chocolately. My brain sends a message, "Geez Jods, why are they giving you attention?? And why not before?? And, I don't want to get attention just because of my body!!" I crave attention, yet when I get the good attention, like the whole Hawaii thing at work, I just feel so odd and undeserving, and just wish the eyes would get off me quickly!

So, I'm really working on thinking positively, and I really do deserve it! I just need to learn how to handle the attention!!

So, I sat through seven hours of sales training, and it actually wasn't that bad!! We got to rant about our superiors, talk about what's wrong with team morale and how to either help it or STFU, and what's just wrong in general. We even watched a whole bunch of the movie Miracle. We also learned part of the sales roadmap....it actually got me a bit excited, because it is a move away from the robots we were starting to become with all the financial scripts we've had to read lately. We get to be human again!!! I could do without some of the roleplays though...once we did it well, we had to do it again. If we didn't, well, of course we did it again too. Overall, I'm glad that I had to miss school to go.

Unfortunately, I got in a little tiff with Paul after work. I had to tell him that I wouldn't be able to go up this weekend, and he was a bit upset. I then said a snarky remark about him not getting here on a few occasions (making it two times out of five planned times in the last year including not making the December trip...LONG complicated story). I guess I should be happy with what time we have had considering the distance, but I need more. I guess it's only another month till our next planned trip, and then I'll be with him full time by the end of May, but geez this year has been hard. I just need to be patient if this is what I really want, I guess.

I finally made it to WW as well and I'm down 2 pounds...Woohoo!! I'm back to my beginning of December weight again...and 5 pounds so far in January. My sales class today actually gave me some ideas that I can put towards my fitness goals. I'll share them tomorrow!!

Till then...

Yippee!! My new design for here is up :) Cherry from Web Divas did an awesome job, don't you think? I gave her some ideas, and her interpretation is so beyond what I expected!! She even catered to my crazy changes for the sidebar. I LOVE IT!!

I'm looking at the picture on here, and if I'm not mistaken, the shape around the band members looks a bit like the crown on the Statue of Liberty. I never even noticed when she first unveiled her idea to me. How appropriate!!

I still need to get some stuff done tonight, so I'll update you on WW and the gym tomorrow!!

Official weigh-in is tomorrow!! I have stayed away from the scale all week, but I feel thinner. I can't wait to move my scale above down some more. I would love to have 5 pounds gone in January :) I haven't done as much exercise as I wanted to, but 300 minutes for the week isn't bad at all compared to about zilch the week before! I never got to WW yesterday, but I definitely am making it there tomorrow.

So, on to boy news. Pauly wants me to come up to New York this weekend. He has this big formal party shindig on Friday night, and he says I "HAVE" to be there. Geez, thanks for the short notice, dear! It's bad enough that I have to miss two days of school this week because of some extra work training. Sometimes I swear he expects that when he says "Jump!" I should say "How high?" There are plenty of times where I needed Paul to be here and he couldn't. I could have used his support the week after my grandpa's death. Where was he? Moaning at home and diagnosed with an intestinal parasite! Ok, maybe that's not a good example, but hell, there are plenty of other times I could mention. I'm doubting that work is going to allow me off, but I'd love to be there so he doesn't invite some other friend along. Am I insecure and jealous of all the time he spends with certain female friends??? Heck yeah! Should I be a little wary? Hmmmm, I dunno.

Time to get off the whiny rag! Be ready to see some cool changes here sometime this week :)

Oooh, I've just found the coolest way to keep track of my exercise time. I'm always doodling and coloring on my calendars, so this would be perfect for me. Streaming Colors Fitness Journals (check out that link) allow you to color in your exercise each day with different colors for each exercise you may do. It will also help me keep track of what I've done each day, how I've progressed, etc. If you have a fitness group you're involved in and order 6 or more, you can get a discount. I'm putting this on my list of things to purchase right now!!

I did it! After a month absence, I made it back to my gym. I sweated and grunted and worked out for 90 minutes. It felt damn good :) I almost forgot what the high after a good dose of cardio felt like. What's even better, I was able to complete my first mile in 10 minutes...so not too far off my personal last year best of 9 minutes. I would love to have it down to 8 minutes by this summer.

I also have a workout partner now. My younger sister has finally decided to join as well, so we can push each other to our goals. She has the stupidest idea that she is fat...I wouldn't mind being her size at all! I taught her how to use the machines and showed her what I usually do. Another happy point: I'm more fit than she is even if I'm still carrying a ton of extra weight...she tuckered out pretty quickly. She used to be able to run circles around me, so I'm definitely making progress.

Some depressing news: my favorite Tuesday class has switched to Wednesday this year :( Of course, I have to work then so I'm going to have to figure out something else. Yoga is now in my aerobics/sculpt class spot. I just don't know if I'm a Yoga Girl. I've done a couple yoga videos, but I'm not really a huge fan. I'll have to watch the class in action and decide if I want to try it first. Do any of you do yoga, and do you like it?? If you are gym rats, what classes have you tried and liked??

Gosh, should I move?? For the past couple months, I've felt like an outsider in my house. I think it all started when our new roommate moved in. The owner of the house and her have really bonded, and I've started to feel a little left out. I've been missing out on a lot of things since starting school, going to the gym more often, and still working 32 hours a week. First it was the Halloween Party...things have just slowly deteriorated since then. Over the Christmas holiday, I noticed that one of the owner's relatives spent a little time in my room. When I came home a couple days ago, the owner gave me a look that felt like, "What are you doing here? Please go!" I politely said Hi since she didn't say anything and went on my merry way to my room. She just got home the day before from her big trip to South Africa and she said that if she didn't come back engaged, that she was dumping her boyfriend. Maybe she dumped him and is cranky about that, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt. I couldn't see her ring finger because it was covered by a glove. She's either been working or in her room whenever I've been around, so I have no idea what's going on with her. I just wish I could get our friendship back to where it was this summer.

Besides our friendship cooling off, the room is just too darn small for me now. My collection of stuff has doubled since I've moved in a little over a year ago, not including my fitness equipment!! There wouldn't be any problem if I had the downstairs bedroom...but that was given to the new roommate. Also, the refrigerator is filled to the gills with some crazy concoctions that roommate #2 has made, leaving me almost zero space for my healthy food! I'm only going to be living in this state for another five months...well at least that's what the gameplan is...so I don't know if I should stick it out a little longer or not. I have looked into a roommate website where month to month rentals are allowed, but then I'd have to get everything packed up and who knows what the other person would be like!! As I've said before, I hate making these decisions. If only I had a little decision fairy to help me out.

Moving on to happier subjects...I'm down 3 pounds this week, so another pound has left me since my last update. I still am not quite on track with my exercise yet since the two week relapse, so next week may bring more success!!

Good news!!! At work, we have this incentive where the top two bankers of the year go to an annual conference in Hawaii. I didn't even think about it because I figured I was maybe in the top 10. Plus, I've only been there a little over a year, and there are a ton of veterans who do well. Well, they announced the two winners while I was gone for bereavement....it wasn't me.

But, I'm #3!!! My supervisor has told me that I was sooooo close to the #2 guy....and he is planning on moving to Arizona and not working for the bank there. Sooooooooo, I just might be going to Hawaii for 5 days and 4 days of fun in the sun :) So, I'm sending all my vibes to make him leave NOW. I've also envisioned other ways to get him gone....maybe some rat poison in the coffee ala Lily Tomlin in 9 to 5. Just kidding, Alex!!

In other news, I missed WW this week, but I WILL be going next week. I'm debating if I want to go to the WW at work one that just started up last week. I really don't know if I want to have that many people know me personally...arrrrrgh!!! Then, there would be eyes always watching and seeing what I'm eating, if I'm moving, etc. Then again, that could be the motivation I need to keep on track. But, I like my leader on Tuesdays...except the time makes me have to rush to my aerobics class....I hate making decisions!! My scale is telling me I'm down 2 pounds, so I'm doing something right :)

Well, I've been keeping this blog up for a few months, so I guess it's time to share some basics about me. Everybody else does it so I better jump on the bandwagon :) I dare you to read it all. Enjoy!

1. My name is Jodi.
2. It almost was Jodie, but my mom decided to add the e to the end of my middle name.
3. My first name gives away that I was born in the 70s. You never hear a young gal with this name anymore.
4. I'm the oldest in a family of four girls. Yes, my stepdad doesn't get his way much.
5. I got to be an only child for about 8 years, and I miss it quite a bit.
6. I was a little surprise for my mom back when she was 23.
7. I've met my biological dad once at his mother's (my grandma that I was very close to) funeral.
8. I occasionally wonder what it'd be like if he was in my life, but after enduring my stepdad, I don't think I'm missing out on much.
9. I have blue eyes and wavy shoulder-length hair.
   
10. My hair is way too thick and I hear about it every time I go to a stylist. They envy it but I hate it!
11. I'm a huge klutz. I could go on for days about my spills, injuries, and accidents. But I won't.
12. My right ankle is held together by a plate and pins. If the scars would go away, I'd forget it happened.
13. I have a very dysfunctional family life. Sometimes it feels like my stepdad and sisters only want me around when I have money. I love my mom though!
14. I weave many incorrect stories about my life to make me sound better....but not on this blog! I like my fantasies a lot more than reality sometimes!
15. I am notorious for sneezing after inhaling perfume. My record is 22 sneezes in a row :)
    
16. When I was in a dating slump, I made up a boyfriend so my parents wouldn't bug me about my love life. They think he still exists. The guy does, but our relationship doesn't.
    
17. I sometimes get confused and think we had something! Sad isn't it?
18. I've lived in Sioux Falls all my life and most of my family lives in the midwest.
    
19. I will be moving after I finish school since Paul found a great job elsewhere. Doing the long-distance thing sucks!!
20. I'm a horrible procrastinator.
    
21. I'm working on a business degree...I have a 4.0 GPA so far!
22. I also have a biology major.
    
23. I had planned on going to med school, but then I wasn't ready to commit to another 4 years minimum in school.
24. After an epiphany last week, I've decided that I need to get back in the medical profession. I've put it off too long. I need to finish the business degree first though!
25. I love to travel...I just wish I had the funds to do it more often.
    
26. Besides NYC, my next favorite spot is Tokyo, Japan.
27. I've also travelled through Korea, China, Canada, and drove through many other states.
28. I've never been to Disney World or Disneyland. I don't feel too deprived.
29. I've struggled with my weight since 3rd grade. I gained about 40 pounds in a year after my mom got married, which freaked out the school nurse.
    
30. I've kept gaining slowly ever since, despite many efforts.
31. I've finally had success with losing in the past two years. It's been a slow process, but I refuse to quit this time.
32. My first diet was Shapedown for Teens, a medically approved program, back in 6th grade.
33. I shaved a minute off my mile run time, but I didn't shed much else.
34. Then, I joined Weight Watchers with my mom during middle school. I quit quickly because I didn't identify with anyone there. I did lose 20 pounds before I left, though!
35. Then, I moved on to NutriSystem in high school. I just didn't have the willpower to keep eating packaged meals when the whole family was eating all my favorite other things.
36. My stepdad finished the meals I never ate. He eats everything and a lot of it, but never gains a pound.
37. I'm jealous about that. Maybe he has a tapeworm.
38. If not for the stomach complications and damage to health, I wish I could have one :) My bf had an intestinal parasite and it wasn't that good for him, but dang he dropped some weight quickly!
    
39. My mom was always on a different diet as I was growing up. Maybe, that's where some of my food hang-ups come from. She's done Cambridge, the cabbage diet, the grapefruit diet, Formu 3, Slim Fast, WW, plus many more that I can't think of right now.
40. Besides my ankle, I've also broken my wrist, had my gall bladder, appendix, tonsils and adenoids removed, and also have Osgood-Schlatter's in my knee.
    
41. I played soccer for many years and was really good at it!! I've had quite a few blows to the head and knee injuries. Explains my mental problems now :)
42. I was the SD spelling champion in 8th grade.
    
43. I'm proud to tell you that fact...what does that make me?
44. I have size 11 feet.
45. My foot size makes it hard to find cute shoes!! At least, not affordable ones.
46. I have wedding fever.
47. I have major pressure from family and friends about getting hitched.
48. I just need a darn proposal, damnit! I think 5 years is enough time to wait!
49. My first job, other than babysitting, was at McDonald's.
50. Working there didn't turn me off of the food. And, of course, I got things half price, so I could order more.
    
51. I lasted there for 6 months, and I just made enough money to help pay for my band trip, and learned enough to never want to work in fast-food again.
52. Yes I was a band geek. Proud of it!
53. I primarily play the clarinet (including the B flat, alto, bass, and E flat), alto and soprano sax, some trumpet and baritone, some guitar, and can peck my way through songs on the piano.
54. Band is what got me travelling and on the plane for the first time.
    
55. I've performed at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade in '94. In college, we had a band tour every year and that's what got me to Asia!
56. I also love to sing but I really hate auditions or solos. I have some wonderful performances that you may catch while I'm driving down the interstate.
57. I live in a house with two roommates. We connected through a rental website. We also share the house with two dogs, Baylor and Belmont.
58. My room is getting too small, so I wish I could find a temporary place until my big move.
59. Either that, or I'm just too messy so my room seems smaller.
60. I admit it, I am not a neat person. My room is a mess and I have my own system of organization that nobody will understand but me.
61. My Pauly is a neat-freak. Luckily, he doesn't get annoyed by my messes and he will clean for me.
62. My Bloginality is INFP!!! Gee, isn't that insightful?
63. I can be quite a sarcastic bitch sometimes. If you can't deal with it, too bad :)
    
64. Despite rumors, I can cook. I just don't like to spend a bunch of a time in the kitchen.
65. I'm running out of things to list!! I'm not the most exciting person in the world.
66. I'm a big people pleaser. It hurts when I go out of my way to help someone, and then end up getting shafted.
67. I suffer from low self-esteem issues. As I get more fit and healthy, my self-confidence is also rising. Maybe someday, I'll have a huge ego.
    
68. I do not think losing weight will solve my problems, but it sure won't hurt.
69. I've never done this number.
70. I do plan on doing it someday.
71. I think I'll enjoy it :)
72. I've lost about 30 pounds since committing to getting healthy about 1.5 years ago.
    
73. I actually lost about 50, but then I got lax and gained some back.
74. I succeeded with the support of the great people in the Ediets support rooms.
75. I do not follow their food plan anymore.
76. I've rejoined WW again in September, and it has really helped me focus.
77. I'm doing the Flex Points.
78. No, I haven't tried Core, and I don't know if I ever will.
79. I love The Biggest Loser.
80. I'm seriously considering sending in a tape for the next show.
81. Yes, I know their weight loss isn't realistic, but I'd love to have personal trainers push me to my limits, have my meals prepared for me, and have no other commitments to deal with so I can have that kind of success.
82. I also am addicted to other reality shows like The Bachelorette and The Amazing Race.
83. I even liked My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance. Keep that on the downlow :)
84. I worked at Kmart all through college. After dealing with returns and cranky customers, I have sworn off retail as well!
85. I then got into phone work after college since I put off med school. First, I worked in the credit card area for three years. I did well and the pay was much better than retail.
86. Then, I moved onto sales at Gateway. That paid well at first too....then that started tanking too. Their whole retail store idea is what brought them down...bad, bad, bad.
87. I went back to the lovely credit cards again at Citibank. I loved the coworkers, but hated the company. Yes, I pushed those balance transfers and extra products on you, and I'm sorry!
    
88. I'm now a personal banker. I like the company a lot, and there is a lot of ways to move up within the organization.
    
89. I miss my grandpa a lot. It's a scary thought thinking he may be able to see everything I'm doing now.
    
90. I doubt anybody is reading this far down my list. If you are, hi!!
91. I can swim, but am deathly afraid of water depths taller than me.
    
92. The diving board freaks me out too.
93. I'm painfully shy. I used to be the most talkative person ever....I'm not exactly sure what caused the change.
94. I am aiming to lose 60 pounds in 2005. Hence, the new tracker above. I'll still have another 30 to go in 2006.
    
95. I am also a fitness informercial junkie.
96. I've bought WATP (Walk Away the Pounds), the Firm, Core Secrets, and Winsor Pilates. Core Secrets has moved up to being my favorite.
    
97. I've also bought Slim in 6 and Power 90 off of Ebay but I haven't tried those two yet.
98. I get bored easily. Which explains why I need so many different fitness videos to keep me going!
99. People have a lot of fun with my last name during Christmas. It rhymes with a famous reindeer.
100. My middle name is Lynne. Figured I've kept you in suspense long enough!
     

Oh my, I have really let myself go healthwise this week due to the ordeal with grandpa. It was just a week ago last night when we first brought him to the hospital...now he's in the ground. The funeral was beautiful, my cousin did great with his eulogy, and the day was darn cold but the sun came out. I've been grazing on sweets, getting in no exercise except walking from room to room at grandma's, drinking a bunch of pop and other caffeinated beverages, and just eating whatever is put in front of me. The scale groaned at me when I reluctantly stood on it in order to view the damage. I've gained at least 5 POUNDS!! Egads!!!

So, it is time to take some measures to get me back on track this week! Today, I'm focusing on water and exercise. I will drink at least 64 oz. of water today...not Diet Dr. Pepper (have you tried the cherry vanilla kind yet?)!! I will also do 30 minutes of exercise. I know grandpa would want me to get back to my routine and get healthy. I have missed a couple WW meetings in a row, so I am contemplating if I want to go today or put it off until Saturday. I will not put it off until next week though If I can find my No Weigh In card, I am going to drop in unless my family decides to head up to grandma's again. And if I go to WW, I will be going to my aerobics class!!! I have to get back there...even if I need to tape The Biggest Loser finale. If I could handle being off work and have no classes, I'd soooo volunteer to be on there. The weight loss is unrealistic for real people with lives, but man, I'd love to be pushed and prodded by trainers, have meals prepared for me, and have so much time to devote for exercise.

Alright, I'm starting to ramble, so I better head to class before I write a novel :)

It has been a rough few days, but I finally am able to go hours without crying. Our family got to view our grandpa for the first time since he died. The mortician did really well...he looked just like we remembered him. It took a while for my grandma to be able to face him. She can hardly see and forgot her glasses, but she noticed that his eyebrows were a bit bushy :) So, grandpa will have a last trim job before the visitation tomorrow....errr I guess it's technically Sunday, so later this afternoon. We added some special momentos to place inside the coffin: a Beanie Baby cow since he was a farmer all his life, a mini tractor we gave him a bit before Christmas that he loved, some small angels that we gave him the last time he was in the hospital, and a suncatcher that he received in the hospital for the final time. We have the memorial service planned out, and my talkative cousin will speaking on behalf of the family....we made sure to give him a time limit since we'd be there 5 days if we let him ramble too much!!

We've been sorting out a bunch of pictures to display at the funeral home and have had quite a few laughs reminiscing about the old times. My aunt has been a little picture whore, and was choosing a TON of her family to display so there wasn't any room for ours....and this one really tacky one of my cousin with her breasts all hanging out and tight jeans. The rest of the family was grimacing....so when she left, we went and hid that picture on top of the kitchen cabinet plus took off a few others so there would be equal representation. We could hardly keep a straight face when she came over today and was searching all over the place for it. She digged through boxes, crawled under the table, and looked almost every other possible place. When she and her daughter left to go shopping, we slipped it under a tablecloth so it can "miraculously appear" after we add the last whole family picture that we developed today.

I think we've finally reached the point in knowing that grandpa's death was for the best, and that he's in a much better place. He's finally free of all the tubes and oxygen tanks and he can finally see better again. We've all felt/seen many instances of his presence and God's work...it has been very comforting. I just need to stay strong through Monday for the funeral. Thanks so much to those who've either commented or emailed me...your thoughts are appreciated.

Could someone please make the awful events of the past 24 hours....heck the last 10 hours...please just disappear? I just feel so numb right now. I can't sleep anymore and every little thing just tears me up. My grandfather, the greatest man I ever knew, died in the hospital around midnight.

He hadn't felt well in the past few days with what he thought was the flu and finally agreed to go to the hospital on Monday night. After a full evaluation, he was admitted in with a diagnosis of pneumonia, dehydration, and a bladder infection. When we left him that night, I thought all was fine. This surely wasn't a repeat of the episode in March when he was in intensive care and found out his cancer was back. We were ready for him to go then...we had a vigil at the hospital where we all slept over. He survived that, went through chemo, lost his hair, got better, got his hair back, and was doing well, except for the troubles breathing. We figured he'd be in a few days, get back his strength, and go home. Last night, he finally felt like eating again, and he told my aunt that he was feeling better. I hadn't went to see him on Tuesday because of a snow storm, and figured I'd come in on Thursday. Well, at about 11:30 my mom got a call that he was rapidly deteriorating...he couldn't breathe and was profusely sweating. He was drooling a bit and was very diapharetic. By the time we got there, he was already in code and we couldn't go and see him since the doctors were working on him. So, we were ushered to a private room where grandma was. She was already crying...I'm sure she probably knew what the outcome would be. When two doctors came into the room, I knew the answer before either of them spoke. His breathing stopped first (luckily the respiratory therapist was already in there) and then his heart stopped...they worked a half an hour to get him back but to no avail. I wish I would have got a chance to say a proper goodbye. I just wasn't prepared this time!! I held his hand once they had him ready for us to view. He looked so peaceful...I was ready for him to open his eyes and start talking. At least he is no longer in pain or suffering.

This man was my rock. He was always the guy that was there for me, the one I'll always compare my men to. His relationship with my grandma is something I wish for me and my future husband. They did everything together and got along so well. When we went there for Christmas, those two were having a blast throwing wrapping paper at each other. When they were younger, they were always dancing...wish I had their talent!! He would give the shirt off his back to anyone who'd need it. He was the father figure for me, since I didn't have one, and my stepfather is not any good example. I just don't know what I'll do without him. I really wish Paul could have met him.

In the past seven hours, I've thought about my life and how precious it is. I saw how he suffered, so I know I need to make the lifestyle changes now so I can live to be 84 or more. It also became very clear to me that I need to go back to med school and quit dinking around with what doesn't make me happy. I know he's watching over me, and I really want to make him proud. I love you grandpa, and I hope you're in a better place, free of the pain, and the catheter tube, and the oxygen tank, and those glasses that really didn't help!

So far, I've been doing pretty well with my resolutions below...except for getting back to my aerobics class!! I had the best intentions to go, but the weather fouled me up. The skies decided to open up and dump a torrent of snow down on us...5 inches so far and forecasted to get about 12 inches before tomorrow is over. It's been pretty cold here already, but we've been lucky to never have to shovel yet till now. I just hope the roads will be fine by when I have to drive to school tomorrow morning. Before I go off on a weather tangent, let me get back to task here. I did get in exercise at home today by heavy-duty cleaning and a workout video. Tomorrow, I will do so much better.

If you haven't heard yet, the Discovery Health Challenge is starting up again on January 15th and there are some nice perks for following along. I watched the last challenge on TV and participated as well. Well, a new thing they added was the Virtual Model. I've used it before, but wow, it was really good to see it again. I'm soooooo motivated again to succeed after seeing where my model is at. I can't stand looking at my own pictures and refuse to see any changes, so this helps a bit.

So here are some visuals of where I started and the miles left to go to goal...

On the left, Here I am, 35 pounds larger. This was my highest weight back last year when I started. I had lost 50 pounds from this high, but then got lazy, had surgery, and gained about 15 pounds back.

On the right, Here I am now. You can see a little difference in the waist and thighs...I can't wait till I lose some more!!









On the left is where I want to be by the New Year's Eve 2005. This will be about 50 pounds down. Gosh, I don't think I look half bad there either!!

On the right is me at goal!!!! I would love to be this by my birthday in 2006, but I will definitely be there by my 10 year high school reunion. I'd love it if some classmates have some trouble recognizing me :) Evidentally with weight loss, I also will be getting more pasty looking. Must be all the inside gym workouts.

Since it is January 1, I'm going to bring up the dreaded R word. That's right...RESOLUTIONS. I usually avoid this subject because it usually sets me up to fail. I either set up plans and don't end up following through, or I follow through, and things don't change, so I give up. I couldn't take that added pressure!! But, this year I've made some positive changes, but I haven't been as committed as I could be. I'd like to add on to what I've done right in 2004, and set some major goals/resolutions for this year.

1. Exercise. Above all, this is the area where I am not consistent. I've joined the gym back in September and have done well with getting to my Tuesday aerobics class (except for December), I have many videos and equipment for home workouts and have used them, but I still have been using time as an excuse. Three days of serious exercise and the rest of the days filled with walking (if that) is not going to cut it. So, I am doing a new schedule for my life again since the new semester will start on Wednesday. My goal is to get to the gym 4X a week...I am aiming for 2X this week and go up from there. On the days that I don't go, I will pop in an exercise video, use the Gazelle, or go for a power walk (not at a leisurely mall-type pace!)
   
2. Drink more water!! This is the next area I've been slipping. For a full year, I drank pretty much nothing but water. I regularly drank more than 120 oz. a day. Then, I started school this fall and started being desperate for caffeine. To achieve getting the water in again, I will be working to drink 24 oz. of water with each meal. If I drink a pop (or soda, but that's a whole other debate), I will chase it down with an equal amount of water.
   
3. Write it down! I've never consistently journaled my food, guesstimating after my first two weeks of WW what I've had. I may think I'm not eating much, but I'm sure it all adds up.
   
4. Destress. Anyone who knows me well can tell you that I'm a big worry wart. I stress about my job performance, my future, marriage/lack of proposals, the slowness of losing my belly, grades, family problems, when to move, etc. So for now, I'm going to figure out what is truly important to me (my health!!) and focus on that. Whether I get married this year or 10 years from now isn't, nor is whether I'm #2 or #15 in my department. My perfectionist tendencies are going to be hard to break, but I really would like to avoid unnecessary grey hairs.
5. Eat 100% on plan. To do this, I will make weekly meal plans. When I stuck to that, I did well. I will make a strong effort to cook at home and cut out the fast food. I've found some great recipes for lunches, which is the meal that I struggle with keeping healthy the most since I don't have a fridge at school, that I want to try as well.

I think this will definitely keep me on track. To keep me honest, I'm posting this contract to myself.

I, Jodi (aka MsGigglepuss) hereby resolve to implement the following health/fitness resolutions for the year 2005.

• I will lose five pounds per month for a total of 60 pounds by December 31, 2005. This goal is pretty realistic according to how I've done when focused.
• I will work out six times per week for a minimum of 45 minutes, barring illness or injury.
• I will perform resistance exercise twice per week for 30 minutes using a whole body workout routine.
• I will increase my flexibility by stretching three days per week for 7-10 minutes and doing yoga or pilates twice per week for at least 30 minutes (flexibility is important and it doesn't take all that much to improve upon it).
• I will prepare healthy meals at home at least 4X a week.
• I will increase my endurance by two minutes per week so that I can have an additional 20 minutes on the elliptical by March 1, 2005.
• I will find a videotape/DVD that I enjoy and will do it twice a week per month for the months of January and February, and then move on to another one so I don't get bored!

I will update my progress weekly right here. If you notice it missing, comment or email me to bug me about it!!