It has been a rough few days, but I finally am able to go hours without crying. Our family got to view our grandpa for the first time since he died. The mortician did really well...he looked just like we remembered him. It took a while for my grandma to be able to face him. She can hardly see and forgot her glasses, but she noticed that his eyebrows were a bit bushy :) So, grandpa will have a last trim job before the visitation tomorrow....errr I guess it's technically Sunday, so later this afternoon. We added some special momentos to place inside the coffin: a Beanie Baby cow since he was a farmer all his life, a mini tractor we gave him a bit before Christmas that he loved, some small angels that we gave him the last time he was in the hospital, and a suncatcher that he received in the hospital for the final time. We have the memorial service planned out, and my talkative cousin will speaking on behalf of the family....we made sure to give him a time limit since we'd be there 5 days if we let him ramble too much!!

We've been sorting out a bunch of pictures to display at the funeral home and have had quite a few laughs reminiscing about the old times. My aunt has been a little picture whore, and was choosing a TON of her family to display so there wasn't any room for ours....and this one really tacky one of my cousin with her breasts all hanging out and tight jeans. The rest of the family was grimacing....so when she left, we went and hid that picture on top of the kitchen cabinet plus took off a few others so there would be equal representation. We could hardly keep a straight face when she came over today and was searching all over the place for it. She digged through boxes, crawled under the table, and looked almost every other possible place. When she and her daughter left to go shopping, we slipped it under a tablecloth so it can "miraculously appear" after we add the last whole family picture that we developed today.

I think we've finally reached the point in knowing that grandpa's death was for the best, and that he's in a much better place. He's finally free of all the tubes and oxygen tanks and he can finally see better again. We've all felt/seen many instances of his presence and God's work...it has been very comforting. I just need to stay strong through Monday for the funeral. Thanks so much to those who've either commented or emailed me...your thoughts are appreciated.